Tall Girl Advice
Tall girls or girls above average height have always been asked a lot of questions growing up. Some questions and comments include the following:
“How tall are you?”
“WOW! You’re so tall”
Being tall can really force you into the spotlight wherever you go. STA talks to fellow tall girls to share their stories and advice for every tall girl out there!
Please give us a short background about yourself
Charisse, 20, College Student
What’s your height?
5’7
What’s the best thing about your height?
The best thing about my height is that I could reach things that are high up without the use of stool or ladder. I was always being ask for help by my family and friends to reach things at the top of the cabinet, shelves, etc.
Did you experience any type of bullying due to your height when you were in high school? How did you handle it?
No, I never get bullied because of my height, maybe because the bullies usually prey on the “weak”. I guess the bullies don’t classify me as one since I am taller than them. But a few problems that I encountered during highschool are: First, people usually mistakenly assume that I am a college student already and the oldest in our class or in my circle of friends.
Second, everytime random people see a picture of me and my friends — which are way shorter than me — they tend to comment “you’re so tall for your friends”, “you look like the BIG sister of the group”, etc. I wasn’t really confident about myself since I was a kid, and those incidents made me lose my confidence more.
What lessons did you learn from that experience?
Now that I’m more mature than when I was in highscool, I realized that I shouldn’t be offended by those petty comments. I learned that my height is an asset and it shouldn’t be a reason for me to lose my confidence. There are so many reasons to love my height, I could easily play sports, climb a mountain, be a model etc.
Moreover, I get more compliments than offensive comments so I shouldn’t really be bothered by the latter. Lastly, I learned is that I shouldn’t compare myself to others may it be regarding to my height, weight, skin, etc. I am my own unique self and I should embrace and love my self for that.
What is your advice to tall girls who are struggling to embrace their height?
Always remember that being a tall girl is normal. Many people will continuously make comments about our height but girls, we always have the option to just ignore them. Focus on embracing the reality and you’ll see that there are so many reasons to love our height.
For those who are not aware that their words could be hurtful, What are the things you should avoid saying to a tall girl?
To those who are not aware that their words could be hurtful, we don’t always have to make comments on others. We could opt to stay quiet especially if we don’t know how to filter our words. Avoid making comments such as “you look big”, “giant”, “you don’t need heels”, etc. All of these comments seem to be a normal comment but you don’t know how offensive it may be for us, that sometimes those “simple comments” that you make pushes us to lose our confidence.
Please give us a short background about yourself
Sarah, 41, Community and Brand Developer
What’s your height?
6’
What’s the best thing about your height
I get to help people put their luggage in overhead compartments, give my kids the best views at music festivals, and pick fruit off trees without a ladder.
Did you experience any type of bullying due to your height when you were in high school? How did you handle it?
Boys would make offhand remarks sometimes. My mom got teased a lot for her height growing up, so her stories primed me to notice that it was always only short boys that had something to say. Otherwise, I might have taken it much more personally.
What lessons did you learn from that experience?
I used to crouch in pictures; mastered standing in a way that made me seem closer to whatever the average height of the group was. It seems inconsequential, but the body is wise—it notices when you’re trying to shrink to fit in, and silently takes cues from that. It was only when I started surrounding myself with tall people that I realized how much I’d been shortchanging myself. My posture started changing, and in no small way, so did my outlook and opportunities in life.
What is your advice to tall girls who are struggling to embrace their height?
You have an opportunity to kiss the sky—take it. You were designed to have a different perspective than your peers. To graze ceilings, so that you might raise them for others. To stand straight is to know your true center. I want this for you, for it is inextricably linked to finding balance, and stability, and peace.
For those who are not aware that their words could be hurtful, What are the things you should avoid saying to a tall girl?
I would just recommend pausing and doing some self-reflection before commenting on anyone’s physical features, period.
Please give us a short background about yourself
Denise, 20, College Student
What’s your height?
I’m approximately 5’7 (171cm).
What’s the best thing about your height?
As someone who’s into fashion and apparel, I recently have been loving the way my height helps elevate certain looks. From something I used to see as a disadvantage, I am now learning to slowly love and embrace my height through clothes and styling.
Did you experience any type of bullying due to your height when you were in high school? How did you handle it?
For most of my childhood up until the 8th grade, I lived in a fairly small town wherein I was always the tallest in the class apart from 1 or 2 boys. While I’m lucky enough to say that I didn’t experience any severe bullying regarding it, there would always be those backhanded compliments which did get to me.
I would feel insecure about my height which caused me to slouch a lot and is still something I struggle with sometimes. Eventually, after moving out of the city and into a bigger school, I slowly had to realize that it wasn’t a problem all along. Perhaps new environments also help one gain a fresh and healthier perspective of themselves.
What lessons did you learn from that experience?
Being tall puts you in a situation where you often immediately stand out among the crowd. Because of that, I learned how to be more confident with how I carry myself. I believe that it all comes down to controlling your mindset and not letting anyone disrupt the peace that you’ve learnt to build around your self-esteem.
What is your advice to tall girls who are struggling to embrace their height?
To my tall girlies out there struggling to embrace their height - find that thing that makes you feel comfortable around your own skin. May it be with modeling, sports or even through commanding the room with your leadership and academics. No matter how many people will tell you how to feel about it, know that you are the only one with the power to use it to your advantage.
For those who are not aware that their words could be hurtful, What are the things you should avoid saying to a tall girl?
I personally am tired of comments along the lines of “You should be proud of your height because other people would kill for that!” or people directly assuming that we play a sport just because we’re tall. I know they must not mean any harm, but the look of disappointment when they find out that you don’t makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong. In general, may this be a reminder for everyone to be more gentle with our words as we may not know what one may be silently battling with!
Please give us a short background about yourself
Angel,19, College Student
What’s your height?
5'8
What’s the best thing about your height?
The strength it gives me. I feel like when I walk into a room, I not only enter it but make an *entrance*. I guess people respect me because of my height in a way, allowing me to command the room. Because of that, I grow even more confident in myself and my skin. It would be a lie to say that other people complimenting my height doesn't make me feel great because it truly does. However, it's come to the point where I no longer need other people's validation to feel confident in my skin and height. It's sort of like because I know I can command a room, it's ingrained in my confidence and schema that I have this ability---and that gives me strength.
Did you experience any type of bullying due to your height when you were in high school? How did you handle it?
It's always the usual "nag-heheels ka pa? Ang tangkad mo na nga eh?" or people assuming/imposing that I'm not a cis woman because of my height paired with my deep voice (not that being another gender/sex is wrong, but who are they to impose).
What lessons did you learn from that experience?
In those moments, I stayed quiet because I felt like if I did react, I would be overreacting (an effect of the patriarchy, I guess). If I could turn back time though, I'd stand up for myself and stick my high heels up their ass...uming little mouths. No one can talk badly to me or anybody about my appearance or my sexuality. I'm beautiful and all women, tall or short, also are. If their fragile egos can't handle that, it's their fault, not mine.
What is your advice to tall girls who are struggling to embrace their height?
Your height is an asset---it always will be. Love that height so you can love yourself. Embrace it and let it empower you. So straight back, chin up, high heels on, strut, and love yourself---every last bit or inch of it.
For those who are not aware that their words could be hurtful, What are the things you should avoid saying to a tall girl?
"Wag ka magheels!". "Mukha kang kapre?" Or any other tall ugly creature. "Magvolleyball Ka sayang height mo!". Or any other small jokes 'cause it compounds after a while.
Please give us a short background about yourself
Renee, 31, Project Manager
What’s your height?
5’7
What’s the best thing about your height?
Honestly, added security. I’m an anxious person and growing up in Manila, you know it’s not the safest place to live. Women are used to men glaring or catcalling when we’re walking the streets. You always check your surroundings for any signs of danger.
My height, built and skin color can make me stand out from the crowd but also less afraid. Because I’m a tall girl, I know I’m bigger than a lot of these men or even kids whom I feel threatened by. I know my height and built make me less of a target of harassment or theft.
And..the view is pretty nice from up here :)
Did you experience any type of bullying due to your height when you were in high school? How did you handle it?
I think in different stages of my life it was seen as a disadvantage in different ways but most of the time it’s in reference to the opposite sex.
In school, even as an adult, I can see or feel how it made some boys feel insecure or emasculated because I am taller than them. If they’re partnering up boys and girls, the tall girls are used to that awkward moment of their partner being shorter than them or partnering up with another girl and you playing the male role.
I used to make myself smaller both physically and socially. I wouldn’t stand or sit up tall so I’d look smaller. I’ll bend my knees in photos so I won’t look glaringly tall.
What lessons did you learn from that experience?
Ever since I was young, I’ve always been a tall girl and I’ve always loved my height. I love being tall.
I cannot control how others feel and if they feel emasculated or uncomfortable with my height then it’s something for them to deal with. I still catch myself making myself small from time to time and I try my best to reprogram that behavior. Unlearn and stand tall with confidence.
What is your advice to tall girls who are struggling to embrace their height?
You don’t need to attach any emotions to it. You don’t need to like or love your height, you can simply accept it.
For those who are not aware that their words could be hurtful, What are the things you should avoid saying to a tall girl?
I recently learned this lesson. You have to be conscious of how you communicate your insecurities because you might trigger others.
Written by Sonya Go